Tag Archives: kinky

Jokes

Dublin Doctor

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A Dublin Doctor wanted to go fishing, so he approached his apprentice Doctor. “Murphy, I am goin’ fishing tomorrow and don’t want to be closin’ the clinic. I want you to take care of all m’ patients! “

“Not a problem, Yes, Doctor!  I’ll do m’ best, Sir!! ” answered Murphy. 

The Doctor returned the following day. “So, Murphy, how was your day?”
Murphy told him that he had taken care of three patients. “The first one had a headache; he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”
“Bravo, Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the Doctor. 

“The second one had indigestion, so I gave him Gaviscon,” says  Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this!! And what about the third one?” asks the Doctor. 

“Doctor, I was sitting here, and suddenly the door flew open … and a young gorgeous woman burst in, she did! Like a bolt outta the blue, she tore off her clothes, taking off everything!! – including her bra and panties!! – and she lay on the table and spread her legs!! -and then shouted: “Oh Please, Doctor – HELP ME!! – for the love of St Patrick!! – For five years now, I haven’t seen any man!! ” 

Aghast, the Doctors asked, “Oh NO, Murphy!! ….. -Tunderin’ Joseph, Mary and Lord Jesus, what did you do?”
“The only thing I could do, Doctor!!                

   I put drops in her eyes!! “

Jokes, Text

Kinky German

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A German guy approaches a lady of the night.

‘I vish to buy sex wit you.’

‘OK,’ says the girl, ‘I charge 20 an hour.’

‘..ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky.’

‘No problem,’ she replies cautiously, ‘I can do little kinky.’

So off they go to the girl’s flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller. ‘I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your hans und knees.’ The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees. ‘Now you vill get on your hans und knees.’

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

‘You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.’

She finds it odd, but figures it’s harmless (and the guy is paying.) She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

The climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say ‘That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?’

‘Ah,’ says the German ‘dat is de Four-sprung Duck technique’