A Dublin Doctor wanted to go fishing, so he approached his apprentice Doctor. “Murphy, I am goin’ fishing tomorrow and don’t want to be closin’ the clinic. I want you to take care of all m’ patients! “

“Not a problem, Yes, Doctor!  I’ll do m’ best, Sir!! ” answered Murphy. 

The Doctor returned the following day. “So, Murphy, how was your day?”
Murphy told him that he had taken care of three patients. “The first one had a headache; he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”
“Bravo, Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the Doctor. 

“The second one had indigestion, so I gave him Gaviscon,” says  Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this!! And what about the third one?” asks the Doctor. 

“Doctor, I was sitting here, and suddenly the door flew open … and a young gorgeous woman burst in, she did! Like a bolt outta the blue, she tore off her clothes, taking off everything!! – including her bra and panties!! – and she lay on the table and spread her legs!! -and then shouted: “Oh Please, Doctor – HELP ME!! – for the love of St Patrick!! – For five years now, I haven’t seen any man!! ” 

Aghast, the Doctors asked, “Oh NO, Murphy!! ….. -Tunderin’ Joseph, Mary and Lord Jesus, what did you do?”
“The only thing I could do, Doctor!!                

   I put drops in her eyes!! “