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By Bullshitter, on December 6th, 2010
Four guys were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round.
 His buddies all chimed in and said, “Let’s do it. We’ll make it a priority, Figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning.”
Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course.
The first guy says, “Boy this game cost me a fortune. I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can’t take her eyes off it.”
Number 2 guy says, “I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.”
Number 3 guy says, “Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual.”
They all turned to the last guy in the group who is staring at them like they’ve lost their minds.
“I can’t believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the butt and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas. It’s a great morning for either sex or golf ‘ . and she said … “Take a sweater.”
By Bullshitter, on December 4th, 2010
The husband and his young wife were not on good terms. In fact the wife was convinced that he was carrying on with the pretty housemaid, so she laid a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend, and didn’t inform her husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the same old story:
“Excuse me my dear …….. my stomach,” and disappeared towards the bathroom.
The wife promptly dashed along the corridor, up the back stairs, into the maid’s bed. She just had time to switch the lights off when in he came silently…………
He wasted no time or words but quickly took out his equipment, and got on with the job. When he finished and they were still panting, the wife said: ” You didn’t expect to find me in this bed did you!?!” and switched on the light.
“No indeed, Madam” said the gardener!!!
By Bullshitter, on December 3rd, 2010
Mary a very religious young Irish woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ Mary said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ Mary asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that big smile off of your face.’ Mary said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ Mary asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that big smile off of your face.’
By Bullshitter, on December 3rd, 2010
Paddy went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’
The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’
Paddy said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest said, ‘Rubbing is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put €50 in the poor box.’
Paddy left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’
Paddy replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the €50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’
By Bullshitter, on November 10th, 2010
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what’s natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom’s resistance to nature’s urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So they buried her.
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His buddies all chimed in and said, “Let’s do it. We’ll make it a priority, Figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning.”
